Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Metabolism Mistress


Christine, a.k.a. Kiki, is a former stripper turned advertising executive. I thoroughly enjoy her writing on her blog She's Here. Below is her metaphor for metabolism: perfection. If you like this little taste of her writing below, please stop by and check out her blog. You won't be sorry.

We’ve all done it: Saved that pair of pants from one (or two) sizes ago with the forthright conviction of wearing them again. 

That button-closing-euphoria feeling you experience alone in your bedroom is better than sex. Well, almost. But who can think of naked play time when your skinny jeans are mocking you from the closet? 

.Metabolism is a bitch. For most of us, she is a fickle mistress we playfully tease in our twenties with second helpings of cheesecake and carefree champagne brunches. In our thirties her spandex is replaced with Spanx and what was once exuberance becomes irritation. We take her for granted and with each bite of portion distortion, ignore the warning signs of Slow Speed Ahead.

By the time we reach forty, our annoyed little Metabolism Mistress becomes a bitter ex-girlfriend. Longing for happier times, we reach out with promises of I am starting my diet tomorrow hoping she will return, even faster and freer than before. After a handful of failed attempts to whittle our waist size, we realize something. We turned our metabolism away. We see now that she is tired of doing all the work. Feelings of self-loathing and defeat consume us and we are left alone to drop off the pieces - one calorie at a time.

Talk about a buzz kill.

A recent study from the Centers for Disease Control tells us the prevalence of adults in the U.S. who are obese remains high. Approximately one-third are in line to receive a series health issues all related to tipping the scales. 

Diabetes, your table is ready.
Becoming physically fit is the Catch-22 mother of all Captain Obvious conundrums: eat less, move more. But we have no energy to move more because we’ve eaten too much. The cycle continues.

The fact is, most of us with weight issues are struggling emotionally. Our bodies are a bi-product of the mental malfunctions we attempt to remedy with (comfort) food. We literally push our skinny jeans in the back of the closet while stuffing denial in every pocket.

Some of us overeat out of depression, stress, boredom, and many other reasons that have nothing to do with hunger.

So what can we do? 

To quote Nike’s infamous tagline: Just do it. Dust off that bathroom scale and face the dragon; The Dragon being a fire-breathing reality check that can save your life if only you would respect the flames. Write the number on the scale down. Now tell yourself you will never have to see that number again.
Next, make the decision to want to change
When it comes to making healthy choices, nothing really changes until you connect the dots between your mental, emotional and physical self.
Now that you’ve made the choice to do the work, it’s time to actually do the work.

When you make the choice to be the best you can be, the necessary work it takes to get there becomes a victorious journey of self-love.

Be creative with your metabolism re-connection road. Romance her with different fitness dates. Try a hip hop or spinning class. Shelf the ego and pose yourself happy with beginner’s yoga.
Remember to have fun. 

You hold the crayons and your body is the coloring book. The moment you realize this wonderful fact, something liberating happens. You create a personal masterpiece within the pages of your spirit; one Crayola at a time.