The Metabolism Mistress

Christine, a.k.a. Kiki, is a former stripper turned advertising executive. I thoroughly enjoy her writing on her blog She's Here. Below is her metaphor for metabolism: perfection. If you like this little taste of her writing below, please stop by and check out her blog. You won't be sorry.
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We’ve all done it: Saved that pair of pants from one (or two) sizes ago with the forthright conviction of wearing them again. 

That button-closing-euphoria feeling you experience alone in your bedroom is better than sex. Well, almost. But who can think of naked play time when your skinny jeans are mocking you from the closet? 


.Metabolism is a bitch. For most of us, she is a fickle mistress we playfully tease in our twenties with second helpings of cheesecake and carefree champagne brunches. In our thirties her spandex is replaced with Spanx and what was once exuberance becomes irritation. We take her for granted and with each bite of portion distortion, ignore the warning signs of Slow Speed Ahead.

By the time we reach forty, our annoyed little Metabolism Mistress becomes a bitter ex-girlfriend. Longing for happier times, we reach out with promises of I am starting my diet tomorrow hoping she will return, even faster and freer than before. After a handful of failed attempts to whittle our waist size, we realize something. We turned our metabolism away. We see now that she is tired of doing all the work. Feelings of self-loathing and defeat consume us and we are left alone to drop off the pieces - one calorie at a time.

Talk about a buzz kill.

A recent study from the Centers for Disease Control tells us the prevalence of adults in the U.S. who are obese remains high. Approximately one-third are in line to receive a series health issues all related to tipping the scales. 
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Diabetes, your table is ready.
Becoming physically fit is the Catch-22 mother of all Captain Obvious conundrums: eat less, move more. But we have no energy to move more because we’ve eaten too much. The cycle continues.

The fact is, most of us with weight issues are struggling emotionally. Our bodies are a bi-product of the mental malfunctions we attempt to remedy with (comfort) food. We literally push our skinny jeans in the back of the closet while stuffing denial in every pocket.

Some of us overeat out of depression, stress, boredom, and many other reasons that have nothing to do with hunger.

So what can we do? 

To quote Nike’s infamous tagline: Just do it. Dust off that bathroom scale and face the dragon; The Dragon being a fire-breathing reality check that can save your life if only you would respect the flames. Write the number on the scale down. Now tell yourself you will never have to see that number again.
Next, make the decision to want to change. When it comes to making healthy choices, nothing really changes until you connect the dots between your mental, emotional and physical self.
Now that you’ve made the choice to do the work, it’s time to actually do the work.

When you make the choice to be the best you can be, the necessary work it takes to get there becomes a victorious journey of self-love.

Be creative with your metabolism re-connection road. Romance her with different fitness dates. Try a hip hop or spinning class. Shelf the ego and pose yourself happy with beginner’s yoga.Remember to have fun. 

You hold the crayons and your body is the coloring book. The moment you realize this wonderful fact, something liberating happens. You create a personal masterpiece within the pages of your spirit; one Crayola at a time.

Things I ♥ Thursday

I know it's a little late on a Thursday to post, but I just got these in the mail and I was dying to share. Of course part of being consistent with living healthy is holding yourself accountable, and one thing that helps with that is writing down everything you eat. It's not a good idea to add up the sodium and calories in your head - that's were I get in trouble. I hate to use the term "food journal," just a little too "Oprah" for me. I also like to keep up with some other random things such as appointments, physical activity, and some of Finn's milestones. I am also supposed to take my heart rate, blood pressure, and temperature every morning and evening. Obviously, I've been slacking a bit on that. Anyway, these are made by Moleskine, so you know they are good stuff. I guess that I didn't read the part that said 3.5 x 5.5, but that's even better for keeping in my purse. I used an internet photo because it displayed all of the aspects so well. There is one page per date and one line/space per hour. I'll keep you updated on how well they work! 

You Mean I'm Allowed to Taste?!

I am a deep-fried, strongly-seasoned, southern girl, so when I heard that I would have to adhere to a heart-healthy diet I thought that in itself would be enough to give me a heart attack. However, after losing over thirty pounds while in the hospital on a low to no sodium diet I learned to get used to it, and the weight loss was worth it. One of the first things I learned was, "where salt goes, water goes." So greatly reducing the sodium in your diet really knock of the pounds, and you really don't have to work to hard at it. 


With all of the material I was given by the hospital dietician and a little internet research, I soon learned that I had been eating a whole day's worth of sodium or more in one meal! It's no wonder they took ten pounds of fluid off of me the first 24 hours I was there! I love love love food, and there is nothing that I can think of off of the top of my head that I absolutely will not eat. So obviously cutting back is very difficult for me. I am very lucky in that my weight and figure directly correlates with my food intake, but I just love it too much. MY weight has fluctuated up and down by thirty pounds at least three times the past seven years. 


Before I get too sidetracked, let me get on with what I want to share with you in today's post. I have discovered a few things that have given "cutting back" a little flavor. All the items below are little things that make a big difference. I have found all of them at the local grocery store as well as Target and Wal-Mart. Each photo is linked to that company's website where you can look at nutritional info. and most them have some great recipes and other resources, too!

These are delish! I know it is hard to believe, but if I had not baked them, I would have never known the difference! They are so very fudgy, if that is a word. I baked mine in an 8 x 8 pan, but if you like them thicker than 1" use a smaller pan.

I was introduced to this right out out of the hospital, and it saved my sweet tooth. Yumyumyum! This Peanut Butter Fudge is great, but they have a Butter Pecan that is out of this world. Portion control is this the key here since I struggle to keep from eating the whole tub. 

I was never a big yogurt fan, but this stuff is addictive! It's the ones with the commercial that talks about "Boston Creme Pie, Strawberry Shortcake, etc." it is sooo good. I have tried all of them; I think. There are probably about 10-15 "dessert" flavors. I do not recommend the chocolate
mousse or cinnamon roll...I almost gagged. However, the cherry cobbler and strawberry shortcake are to die for! My husband even agrees: there's your proof!

If you like chocolate milk, this is a decent substitute. I would be willing to bet that the Hershey's Syrup: Lite is better, and it actually has less sodium than this one.

I love butter and jelly on toast for breakfast, and these are

great substitutes for the sugar-laden originals. They a slight hint of tartness to them due to obvious lack of sugar, but I like it. There are Sugar Free varieties and Low Sugar varieties; I didn't notice the difference until after I saw the label.

Now for the second part of my favorite breakfast habit: butter. This butter is soft, tasty, and most important of all SPREADABLE. I had tried the Smart Balance before and it was like wax. This seems just as good as Country Crock!

While we are on the subject of butter, here is what I keep mine in for easy

access and storage at room temperature. My mother-in-law gave it to me

for Christmas, and I love it. I know it sounds crazy, but it works. You can purchase 

them from a variety of vendors mine came from Solutions. SkyMall has them, as well.

I know I didn't have much to say about their butter, but their mayo rocks! Once again, if I didn't scoop it out of the jar myself, I wouldn't have known that it wasn't Hellman's or Kraft. Plus, it has Omega-3s. Thanks, babe, for finding this one! My hubby does the grocery shopping, since he does all of the cooking. Trust me, this hasn't been easy for him either. They make a great cooking spray, too.

I never in a MILLION YEARS thought that I would use these!

Just the thought of them made me gag, until one day my hubby made me an omelette with them and I later saw the carton next to the stove. I couldn't believe how good they were. The carton does say, "99% real eggs" I suppose. I like using them better than real eggs now. They are just easier to cook, clean up, and no scrambling involved, unless you add other stuff in like I do. 

The dietician at Ochsner told me about this stuff to use as a salt substitute. Let me just go ahead and admit this: there is no  substitute for salt: sorry, there just isn't. But, this comes pretty darn close. It has a distinct flavor, so use it sparingly. I once put too much on my eggs and nearly gagged. It helps give a little flavor to your dishes where Mrs. Dash may fail.

  

This probably one the most commonly known diet keys: substitute sour cream with plain yogurt. I do this with eggs, salsa, and other dip-type snack foods. Love it! I haven't gotten to the point where I can just eat it with a spoon yet, though.

I eat the croissant variety of these. You can definitely tell

that they are not McDonald's, but they are filling and tasty

substitutes. Jimmy also makes good, tasty, juicy turkey 

sausage that I had for breakfast this morning.

Good luck, girls! 

Remember to add me on Twitter so we can keep each other going!

Un Giorno

Well, today was my first of this new project. I did fairly decent, lasting only about ten minutes on the upper body portion of the resistance band pilates routine. The food and diet portion was not so difficult until I got into the evening and became bored after my baby went to his Gram's house for the night. Tomorrow shouldn't be too difficult since I will be running around New Orleans all day, which will be my exercise. I just have to steer clear of Cafe DuMonde and its beignets! 

I now know that there is no way I will be popping in the Jillian Michaels dvd any time soon. I am still a lot weaker than I had expected; I understand why they want you to ease back into a active lifestyle. Phew! 

Forecast for tomorrow: High 61 - perfect

A Work in Progress

I am still working on getting this blog together, but I do have all of my tools ready to for tomorrow. What should I begin with? Hmmm...Jillian or Mari?

Since it's going to be difficult enough to start workouts again, I will probably start with the pilates. I chose this DVD because it came with the resistance bands; I really need to get my strength back up. The months that I spent in the hospital and on "house arrest" have diminished any little bit of strength I had built back up after having a baby. Pretty much I have about a year of inactivity.

Wish me luck! For those of you who are starting on a healthy new path, let me know so that we can keep up with each other. 

I will most more details about my "heart healthy" diet end of it soon.